Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life” as Want to Read:
How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life

3.27  ·  Rating details ·  119 ratings  ·  40 reviews
The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge-holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self.

Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn’t, and many of us deny that we do. To bear a grudge is too negative, right? Shouldn’t we
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published January 1st 2019 by Scribner
More Details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about How to Hold a Grudge, please sign up.
Popular Answered Questions
Erin I don't know about audible, but it does come as an ebook (that's how I read it!)

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
3.27  · 
Rating details
 ·  119 ratings  ·  40 reviews

Sort order
Oct 10, 2018 rated it liked it
On almost a whim Sophie Hannah decides to write a book on grudges, a topic she discovers no-one else has ever written about. Holding grudges is a universal psychological phenomena and although Hannah has no mental health background or experience, she feels comfortable tackling the topic, with the help of two mental health practitioners looking over her work. She takes issue with the definition of a grudge, identifies different types and themes of grudges, and when to let go of a grudge. She make ...more
“Holding grudges doesn't have to fill us with hate or make us bitter and miserable. If you approach the practice of grudge-holding in an enlightened way, you'll find it does the opposite: it makes you more forgiving. Your grudges can help you honor your personal emotional landmarks, and you can distill vital life lessons from them – about your value system, hopes, needs and priorities – that will act as a series of stepping stones pointing you in the right direction for the best possible futur
Oct 11, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I am a great fan of Sophie Hannah's psychological thrillers, so this departure from her normal fictional output is quite a surprise - and something of an eye-opener, too.

I suppose we would all like to believe we are too magnanimous to hold a grudge for long:- "forgive and forget” is the noble attitude to take – but only saints are truly capable of this, so where does that leave the rest of us lesser mortals?

Sophie’s lighthearted treatise does not advocate seeking vengeance, but explains why ther
Dec 18, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I truly wonder why Sophie Hannah wrote this book. Successful in her other offerings, she does not have the qualifications, credentials or training to write a book based on psychology; and it cannot be touted as a self-help book when her aim seems to be talking about herself. There may not be any current books about grudges, but is there really a need for one? Does the world need more people holding tight to every real or imagined slight?

That is what this book recommends. Don't only hold on to yo
Jan 05, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: giveaways
I won this as a giveaway. It’s a fun lighthearted book with a good message. Grudges can be good, positive impacts in our lives if we can treat them that way. The two issues I had with this book was 1) it wasn’t academic or scientific. Which is fine for this type of book. The second was the types of grudges she gave examples of. They really weren’t big, huge, nasty grudges. Some weren’t really grudges. Some were more I was mildly unconvinced. I think right of the bat she should have a big grudge ...more
Sarah Connor
Oct 15, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I picked this up on a whim because the title was so very intriguing. It sounded like the antithesis of most of the self help books that are out there. Why would anyone want to hold a grudge? Nasty, small minded, grubby things...! I finished it thinking I neede to buy a copy for just about every teenage girl I know.

This is not a book about holding onto pain or anger or ugliness. It's a book about using those things to grow as an individual, and to learn how to protect yourself from painful exper
Deb Jones
Feb 06, 2019 rated it liked it
It felt like the author got a lot off her chest in writing this book and hoped to help readers do the same in theirs. It didn't work as a cathartic for me, but may be just the thing for others.
Nov 11, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
It seems to me that, maybe during a period of writer's block, the author sat doodling for a while and came up with this. I think it must be aimed at the Young Adult market, because as am Adult Adult I find the tone immature, silly and patronising.

She makes the argument that grudges can actually be positive experiences, identifying different types of grudges, when – indeed, if - to let go of a grudge. In fact she takes issue with the very definition of a grudge. Apparently a couple of professiona
Dec 21, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: first-reads
I received How to Hold a Grudge for free through Goodreads' Giveaways program. I had never read anything by Sophie Hannah and am not familiar with her work at all.

I could see that this was supposed to be a charming, self-help book in the guise of not being overly self-help-y (for lack of a better word). But I couldn't get in to it and gave up after skimming a few chapters. If a psychiatrist or psychologist had written the book, I think I would have reacted differently-- in part because I would t
Jan 23, 2019 rated it it was ok
What a strange little book-that-should-have-been-a-magazine-article. I think I picked it up because I saw an interesting review (somewhere? Not on Amazon) and also because epic and permanent grudge-holding is one of my few talents. But this was a very strange book not worth the time to read, that required lots of skimming.

At first, I thought it was a comical book written in the guise of a self-help book. I mean, who would really want a self-help book about how to hold a grudge? Either you alread
Jo-Ann Duff (Duffy The Writer)
How To Hold A Grudge had me intrigued the moment I saw it. The bright yellow cover, the shiny green foil spine and the title. It was a triple threat.  But, could this book really teach me something, or is it a bit of a 'fad' self-care read with a few jokes along the way.

Unfortunately, it was the latter for me, which is sad because I had such high hopes. You see, I can burn with resentment in a heartbeat if I feel excluded or a cutting comment is flung in my direction without warning. If people t
Susan Cain
Feb 05, 2019 rated it it was ok
I have not read this book authored by Sophie Hannah,so 2 stars for her time spent. Based on the title which I'll sum up,in my own words..."Holding a Grudge Against a Person,Who has NO Idea Why or Even IF You are Giving Them the Silent Treatment Based on Something They Unknowingly Did" I Have NO PLANS on Ever Reading it!!!
Are YOU Kidding Me? This book should have been titled...."Holding a Grudge...One of Many Things that is Wrong With This World"
Feb 02, 2019 rated it it was ok
As a professional grudge holder, I was excited to read this. However, I ended up feeling like I was duped into reading a book about the author’s personal grudges and why she felt justified in having them. There are good parts, but overall the book felt disorganized (lots of references to other chapters which got confusing) and the end was literally just a list of grudges. Probably enough for a good long essay but stretched into book form.

I received an ARC from the publisher through Net Galley in
Jerrid Kruse
Feb 01, 2019 rated it did not like it
I was hopeful when the book noted that no one had written a book about grudges and that the author intended explore this psychological phenomenon. Unfortunately, explore seems to mean tell stories about stuff that happened to you and draw broad generalizations from an N of 1 and informal discussions with your partner. Some of the stories were entertaining, but the advice, conclusions drawn, and the “instrument” were not very (at all) scientific. I suppose this is how personality types got starte ...more
Jan 27, 2019 rated it it was ok
Everything you ever wanted to know about grudges, including why they can be useful ie. reminds you of behavior from which you want to stay away…. But do you really want to know all that much about grudges?
Jan 02, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, netgalley
As a fan of Sophie Hannah's writing I was very interested to read this book. I can't decide whether it is really a self-help book or whether it is merely written tongue-in-cheek. Having said that it was very interesting and definitely gave me food for thought while also causing me to laugh out loud on several occasions.
It was well-written and I could almost hear Sophie's voice in the writing. Because of the subject it was a bit repetitive in places while the questions were repeated in order to s
Linda Munro
Jan 10, 2019 rated it liked it
I received this book via a goodreads giveaway. This is what caught my attention:

“The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge-holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self.:

To be honest, I was truly unsure what this book would entail. Now, I will tell you what I found…

Some pretty funny grudge stories sprinkled throughout. Some grudge stories entailed anger that has simmered
Jan 07, 2019 rated it liked it
An interesting angle on staying with and working through feelings and self esteem issues. However she sometimes implies that buddhists and others who probably know better expect practitioners to forgive and forget without having fully experienced their feelings, that is just not so. She and her expert consultants are not first with that idea but presenting collecting grudges in a healthy way is original and a bit entertaining.

There is a huge emphasis on eventual forgiveness which reveals a Chri
Jan 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I picked this book on a whim. I am so glad I did. Hannah makes some great arguments for the benefits of acknowledging that grudges are not always the wrong thing to have, it is how we handle them that matters. There is much we can learn from having them as often they serve to protect us. She also points out that we can be the subject of other people's grudges, something we should all keep in mind. There is a great deal to think about pertaining to grudges so I can see where referring back to thi ...more
Jan 31, 2019 rated it did not like it
I think I am going to let this book go unfinished. I picked it up thinking it would be funny. While it is light in tone, I feel as though the author has taken a word with an agreed upon definition (she include four dictionary definitions in the text) and decided to commandeer it to mean something else. Near as I can tell, her book could be titled "How to hold onto Life Lessons - From Resentment to Contentment - the Power of Life Lessons to Transform Your Life". Maybe if I read on I would come to ...more
Terri Layton
Jan 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I LOVE this book!! It felt great to know that I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do about certain situations. It's very insightful into why we react to certain situations in our lives. This book really validated my own experiences with people in my life. I recommend this book. It's entertaining and insightful!
Claudia Black
Feb 15, 2019 rated it liked it
I really was hoping this book would provide an interesting insight on how to deal with grudges and feelings of resentment but for the most part it just talked about grudges, and told grudge stories. I was not a fan of her writing style, thought many things were repeated and found myself skipping more and more pages.
Oct 29, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: arc
Worth reading through to the end if only for the writer's personal and collected accounts of grudgeworthy events that validate the readers' own. I like that the writer sought additional feedback from multiple experts on the matter.

I received a free digital copy of the book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Jan 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Lessons Learned and Benefits Gained by Holding Grudges

Approach your grudges by analyzing them and learning from them. It's a novel approach that I think can really work. Hannah's conversational style is easy to read and absorb. Grudge holding erases hatred and self loathing, allowing you to move on. I'm definitely going to try it.
Melinda Spoelstra
Jan 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Loved this book. I personally don't care that she's not a licensed therapist as I feel degrees can be over rated at times. She definitely has an interesting take on holding grudges. Not all her ideas are beneficial in my opinion but she shed great light on tackling them and working through them in a very positive manner. Really enjoyed this book.
Jay Hill
Jan 19, 2019 rated it it was ok
Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

As a grudge holder myself, this was a lighthearted read although it became a bit too monotonous for me. There was enough humour sprinkled throughout to keep me reading until the end.

2 stars
Kris Springer
Jan 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
Boy was this a fun book. Really funny, insightful and inspiring about grudges. Helps the reader to think about what is most important in her life and stand up for that, and in so doing, protecting one’s self. A 4.5 out of 5 stars. This would be a great book club book.
Dec 19, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2018, arc, december
Lighthearted and long-winded.
Tracy T
Feb 05, 2019 rated it did not like it
2019 POP Sugar Challenge - A book with a plant in the title or on the cover
Feb 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book was awesome. I love my grudges!
« previous 1 3 4 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Wabi Sabi: Japanese Wisdom for a Perfectly Imperfect Life
  • Leadership: Plain and Simple
  • The Me, Without: A Year Exploring Habit, Healing, and Happiness
  • Tasting Italy: A Culinary Journey
  • Ice Cream for Breakfast: How Rediscovering You Inner Child Can Make You Calmer, Happier, and Solve Your Bullsh*t Adult Problems
  • No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work
  • The Martha Manual: How to Do (Almost) Everything
  • The Anxiety Solution: A Quieter Mind, a Calmer You
  • Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol
  • Aristotle’s Way: How Ancient Wisdom Can Change Your Life
  • Weird Parenting Wins: Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches
  • Reviving Old Scratch: Demons and the Devil for Doubters and the Disenchanted
  • You're Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect
  • You Have the Right to Remain Fat
  • Your Prosperity SuperPower
  • The Major Works
  • Resist and Persist: Faith and the Fight for Equality
  • Last of the Independents: Vancouver Noir
Sophie Hannah is an internationally bestselling writer of psychological crime fiction, published in 27 countries. In 2013, her latest novel, The Carrier, won the Crime Thriller of the Year Award at the Specsavers National Book Awards. Two of Sophie’s crime novels, The Point of Rescue and The Other Half Lives, have been adapted for television and appeared on ITV1 under the series title Case Sensiti ...more