Self Deprecation Quotes

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

“when you walk, you look like you’re trying to disappear.
your back is gonna be fucked up.
why do you think change is so hard? is it because you’re afraid?
people might think you’re pretty, but they’ll never love you.
you talk like you’re apologizing for your own voice.
speak up.
grow up.
find your spine, stop shrinking.
there is nothing brave about keeping silent.
how many times have you been in love? I can’t picture it ever happening for you.
you lie because it makes you feel free. this is a prison.
you’re always gonna think about him. you will never get him out of your system.
I wish I never had to see you again.
you poor thing.
go to hell.
you may be a nice person but you will never be a good person.
no one is ever going to want to touch you.
is there a vision in your head of who you want to be?
you do not have the strength to become her.
there is no boat big enough to keep you from drowning in the sea of yourself.
go to bed, baby.
you are tired from all of this nothing.
sleep.
rest.”
― Caitlyn Siehl

“There's no room for demons when you're self-possessed.”
― Carrie Fisher

“All the shitty stuff people do to themselves... it can all be the same thing, you know? Just a way to drown out your own voice. To kill your memories without having to kill yourself.”
― Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies

“They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.”
― Bob Monkhouse, Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

“Mine, is a wicked world of pure fascinastion.”
― Carroll Bryant

“After years of self deprecating behavior, I’ve never learned how to properly take a compliment. A part of me wants to argue with him, to tell him there’s nothing special about me.”
― Brynna Gabrielson, Starkissed

“But it doesn't make sense for you to love me...”
― Stephenie Meyer, New Moon

“Don't be afraid! We won't make an author of you, while there's an honest trade to be learnt, or brick-making to turn to.”
― Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

“In a nutshell, I am not unaware of my failings. Neither am I a stranger to irony.”
― Mordecai Richler, Barney's Version

“One notorious apikoros named Hiwa al-Balkhi, writing in ninth-century Persia, offered two hundred awkward questions to the faithful. He drew upon himself the usual thunderous curses—'may his name be forgotten, may his bones be worn to nothing'—along with detailed refutations and denunciations by Abraham ibn Ezra and others. These exciting anathemas, of course, ensured that his worrying 'questions' would remain current for as long as the Orthodox commentaries would be read. In this way, rather as when Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' Jewishness contrives irony at its own expense. If there is one characteristic of Jews that I admire, it is that irony is seldom if ever wasted on them.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Hitch 22: A Memoir

“Goodness, I was already a dork most of the times. I didn't need to be a drunk or high dork.”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever

“It was clear to her now, Happiness was a seductive illusion. No one as fucked up as her deserved one drop of joy. But oh god was it delicious when it fell into her lap for a little while. (Such a pretty face) she muses (with such a bruised and battered soul). When the dawn of a promise fades into the dusk of reality, all that remains is the nightmare. Sweet, sweet loneliness. Shadows come to play and prey on her beaten mind. Her lovely little dreams of poison.”
― Solange nicole, Dreams of Poison

“Mirrors: they show you what you lack, not what you have.”
― Marty Rubin

“The average person’s self-esteem is so low that they are way less frequently surprised that they love someone than they are surprised that someone loves them.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Damn damn damn.”
― Mordecai Richler, Barney's Version

“Fuck them all. I ought to have that tattooed on my forehead, for all the times I've thought it. Usually I am in transit, speeding in my Jeep until my lungs give out. Today, I'm driving ninety-five down 95. I weave in and out of traffic, sewing up a scar. People yell at me behind their closed windows. I give them the finger.

It would solve a thousand problems if I rolled the Jeep over an embankment. It's not like I haven't thought about it, you know. On my license, it says I'm an organ donor, but the truth is I'd consider being an organ martyr. I'm sure I'm worth a lot more dead than alive--the sum of the parts equals more than the whole. I wonder who might wind up walking around with my liver, my lungs, even my eyeballs. I wonder what poor asshole would get stuck with whatever it is in me that passes for a heart.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

“Archie Henderson has won no awards, written no books and never played any representative sport. He was an under-11 tournament-winning tennis player as a boy, but left the game when he discovered rugby where he was one of the worst flyhalves he can remember. This did not prevent him from having opinions on most things in sport.

His moment of glory came in 1970 when he predicted—correctly as it turned out—that Griquas would beat the Blue Bulls (then still the meekly named Noord-Transvaal) in the Currie Cup final. It is something for which he has never been forgiven by the powers-that-be at Loftus. Archie has played cricket in South Africa and India and gave the bowling term military medium a new and more pacifist interpretation. His greatest ambition was to score a century on Llandudno beach before the tide came in.”
― Archie Henderson

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is a pity because this week the National Association of Beholders wrote to tell me that I've got a face like a rucksack full of dented bells.”
― Charlie Brooker

“Strange that people are happy to adopt epithets they would fight to the death to throw off had they been imposed.”
― Iain M. Banks, Look to Windward

“I should have learned mindfulness, and it’s too late now because it’s no good learning it when you’re already in crisis: you have to start when things are good. But only the very, very oddest would think, Hey, my life is perfect. I know! I’ll sit and waste twenty minutes Observing My Thoughts without Judgement.”
― Marian Keyes, The Break

“She was exhausted from her own self-deprecation and inner turmoil.”
― Kimberly Derting, The Body Finder

“The falseness of your own hearts, if you look not to them, may undo you(15).”
― Richard Baxter, The Saints' Everlasting Rest

“There's no law that says you have to be dissatisfied or disappointed with who you are.”
― Marty Rubin

“There are few things so disarming as one who laughs well at her own expense.”
― Amor Towles, Rules of Civility

“Remember with whom thou hast to do: what canst thou expect from dust but levity; or from corruption, but defilement(33)?”
― Richard Baxter, The Saints' Everlasting Rest

“Do you think none shall be saved but puritans(89)?”
― Richard Baxter, The Saints' Everlasting Rest

“The true knowing, living Christian complains more frequently and more bitterly of the wants and woes within him, than without him(55).”
― Richard Baxter, The Saints' Everlasting Rest

“He presses my hand and he says he loves me,
Which I find an admirable peculiarity.”
― W.H. Auden, As I Walked Out One Evening: Songs, Ballads, Lullabies, Limericks & Other Light Verse

“Lincoln said his spiky hair had "a way of getting up in the world".”
― Harold Holzer, Lincoln and the Power of the Press: The War for Public Opinion